Minkie & Minchie

In the wild streets of Las Vegas or Times Square, you might encounter the infamous duo, Minkey and Minchie—Mickey and Minnie’s distant, very much unlicensed cousins. Minkey’s lopsided ears flap in the breeze while his faded red shorts are two sizes too big, held up with sheer willpower and possibly duct tape. Minchie’s slightly squished head gives her a permanently concerned expression, like she’s questioning all her life choices. Together, they shuffle through the crowds, waving at tourists with gloves that have seen better decades, offering high-fives for $20 that leave you with existential dread and a faint whiff of cigarettes. Beware their stare.