Sammich

Sammich is the beloved 70-something-year-old groundskeeper of Camp Shady Birch. Sammich has been at the camp for what feels like forever. In fact, no one is quite sure when he started, but rumor has it he was a camper once, possibly before the tennis court started growing weeds.

Sammich is a man of few words, but his presence is felt everywhere. Need someone to fix the leaking canoe? Sammich is already there, patching it up with duct tape and wisdom. Toilet clogged in Cabin 17? Sammich appears like magic, plumber’s wrench in hand with the serene energy of a Buddhist monk. Archery target mysteriously missing? Sammich retrieves it, without a single scratch, from the raccoon den after negotiating a peace treaty with them. A bad back won’t stop him from keeping this campground tidy for our beloved campers while he listens to his secret mixtape.

He is this camp’s resident everything. Need legal advice? Sammich has a law degree stashed somewhere between his toolbelt and his tattered old camp baseball hat. He is even credited as a producer of the Camp Counselors Podcast! Legend has it he even updates the camp’s financial reports in his spare time. He’s also good friends with Whoopi Goldberg! There’s photographic proof on the camp bulletin board. Sometimes late at night you can hear the two of them on FaceTime.

Despite his many roles, Sammich remains endlessly kind, always ready with a gentle smile and a wink that suggests he knows something you don’t. Having no children of his own, he loves the campers as family. Sammich truly is the glue that holds Camp Shady Birch together, in every sense of the word. One thing is for sure: no matter how chaotic or feral this camp gets, as long as Sammich is around, Camp Shady Birch is in good hands.